F*ck Borders

I feel inspired to write a blog as I am sat here with my flat mate Jonna and her friend Robin from Sweden. They’re big on blogging in Sweden. We just ate takeaway from a Filipino/Chinese place called Chow King here in Satwa, and we’re now all bloated.

We’ve been talking about English adjectives that only the Brits really use, like ‘minging’, ‘munter’, ‘grimey’, ‘tw*t’, ‘rank’ ‘w*nker’ ‘kn*b’. And Robin loves it when British people compliment you, because it really means something, since we’re so cynical most of the time. E.g. ‘Mate, you’re a legend’, or ‘He’s a diamond geezer’.

I actually love being British. Not in a nationalistic way at all. I just love the dry humour and wit. Brits can get a hard time abroad these days. The Europeans often see us as being the fat 51st state [you know how English people are in Majorca], whereas here in Dubai I sense the resentment that people feel towards the Brits and the privileges they receive here in Dubai. After all it was a former British colony..

Thing is, I do not feel proud of British history, [the crusades, wars, raping, slavery..] But then, I do not feel ashamed either. Why should I?You do not choose where you were born, and it is ridiculous to blame someone for what some others did hundreds of years ago in the country they happened to be born into. It’s just the same as hating someone for the colour of his or her skin. It is not logical! It’s like blaming all white people in America today for slavery, or blaming all German people for Hitler.

You know, as humans we all find ourselves hating nations, but we excuse individuals when we meet someone we like. You know too often people say ignorant shit like “I don’t like Indians, except Suresh, he’s cool”.

We’re all human. Can’t we leave it at that? Can we leave our egos at the door please? Can we stop being so general about what a person is like because they were born in a certain country or are a particular skin colour?

I used to get called ‘chinky’ when I was in the playground. My brothers used to get called ‘Golly wog” and “nigga”. People don’t even understand how they can be my ‘real’ brothers. I have to explain, we have the same dad, different mums, so technically ‘half’ blood, but yeah, we’re related by blood. [Like that matters anyway] Yes, it is possible that my brothers have Afro’s, my mum is brown and our dad is white [he just wasn’t so into white women I guess! ;-)]

I suppose that’s what being a Mestiza is, belonging everywhere and nowhere. I feel just as comfortable in any country, but never like that is my ultimate home. And wherever I go no one knows where I am from. Growing up they didn’t think I was born there. When I see my family in the Philippines, people don’t think I am Filipino either, and here in Dubai I sometimes pass as an Arabic girl, but generally people can’t guess. Only in South America do I seem to blend in, but that’s cause everyone’s mixed there anyway!

I feel most at home in the International community…The other night I was at a small house party and a group of us were sat there having a drink and talking about what’s going on in Gaza. 2 of the guys grew up in Jordan, but their parents are Palestinians. There was also a Lebanese guy, [by blood but born and raised in the UAE] an American guy, and a Bulgarian girl. It was really interesting to hear the guys from Palestine sharing their thoughts and feelings. I can hardly imagine what it must feel like to have a home that is taken away from you. Words can’t explain such injustice. There was a lot of hatred from them towards the Israeli’s, as a people and as a Government. I can understand where they are coming from, I too strongly disagree with the way that Israeli Government are acting, as well as the American Government for their support to Israel. But it is not fair to blame all Israeli’s or all Americans. Even if most are acting like complete ***************** [insert some of the British slang from paragraph 2]

When I think about what is happening in Gaza right now, when I think about the war in Iraq, when I think about Afghanistan … I just think. How egotistical can we humans be? How can we still justify violence? How can we be full of hatred to the extent where we wish another person to suffer immense pain and to take away their right to life and freedom? There is more than enough food and water and land in this world for us all. Why are we so selfish that we cannot share?War is such a waste of time. What good ever came out of war?

I can’t believe so many people still justify war. And so often if you do not justify war, then you are labelled as naïve. But this is how ridiculous war is:

The amount of money that the world spends on war in just 2 weeks is enough money to provide everyone in the world with a home, food, clean water, free education and free healthcare.

Digest that fact.

And that was from an old book I have. Imagine how much worse it is now… you can probably add ipod, blackberry and plasma screen TV to that list too now.

Maybe it is ‘immoral’ of me, to be British and to be ‘benefiting’ from life in a former British colony. I have had the odd sly remark from people here and the UK, asking why I am here and how I can be living in an oil rich country, with some real dodgy human rights issues. But otherwise I live in the UK and unwillingly have to pay taxes towards a war in Iraq that I believe is unjust.

So what is more or less moral? Because I move here I now have to take responsibility for the Government? Tell me, what Government in the world is good? Are the people to blame?

This here is the conscription of our times. Go to work, and we will use your money rather than your body to kill other people and benefit ourselves. Then there is the question; if your body is not physically taking part in a war can you be held responsible for it?

I have considered the option of moving to a tiny island in the Philippines and escaping this crazy violent Capitalistic materialistic world we live in. But it seems that whatever we do we cannot help but be hypocrites. The trainers you wear that were made in sweat shops, the meat you eat that was reared by cows in fields that were once the Amazon rainforest, the plane you fly that is contributing to Global warming…

We can do what some do. Eat organic food, buy clothes from charity shops, boycott almost every brand there is out there, walk and take public transport. Go on local camping holidays. But there will still be some line of hypocrisy somewhere. Like the weed that you smoke that contributes to gang violence…

It’s a tough life trying to moral! And I don’t think we should give ourselves too hard a time about it.

I suppose I am the biggest hypocrite ever, because here I am, a typical British person, telling the world how they ought to be and trying to enforce my opinions on others. And what the hell am I contributing to the world as an unknown artist? And if I do ever ‘make it’ will I make it because I have become a product? Will I essentially be selling ‘my self’ [?!]

Or will I divert from being the cynic to the dreamer, and uphold that music is the universal language of the world, and that by connecting with others through energy and expression I have the power to inspire positive change in other peoples lives… ??

[What do you think, wanky or life changing?! Hahaha!]Anyway. I enjoy these challenging thoughts. Though it boggles my mind and pangs guilt in me for some of the things that I do…or don’t do… I’ve enjoyed writing this blog. I’m going to try and be more light hearted next time! ;-)

F* ck Borders *

Your ever-paradoxical cynical yet positive dreamer & hypocrite,

Mestiza xxx